The things on the front

So, I was watching southpark tonight. And seems that even in 4th grade boobs are pretty important. It makes men begin to compete with one another. They almost go a few steps back on the evolutionary ladder into some debased monkey/man/thing. Whats the deal with boobs anyway. do we like the way they look or are we just jelous ours are so small. like some kind of inter-gender body part envy? anyway, I just needed to post something today.

Tired...so...tired

So, here it is. like almost 1am and I am SO ready to get off of work. Love my job, but the hours kill me. Anyway, A whole bunch of things have been running though my head lately. Mostly about my novel, trying to figure out which way to go with it. I'm really thinking I didnt start it off right. After I got into it and began developing the characters I decided I wanted to go in a completely different direction with the plot. God...I have got to start using an outline. But on the positive side Vampires are very fun to write about and so damn sexy, at least the ones I write about are.

Humans...who they think are?

Humans. Them think so smart. Think they samrtest deserve more rights. SOme drink water, some need food, some need to eat food as well. Think so special. Even if Asterius whip harder they work only same pace and same hard. why humans such pain? human geting food, me need type in his place because he exhausted says he. HUmans need learn that all are just as important as the other, one day they will. Until then must be whipped to do things...human slave back, will write now.

~~~~Asterius, the minotaur

Ouzo Sucks ass people

ok. SOmeone told me that I had to try the drink Ouzo. They figured since I liked absinthe that it would all work out fine. Ouzo is a greek liquor that smells like absinthe...but thats about as far as id go with it. Its clear, not green which was an immidiate let down, it really tastes like someone poured vodka over some butter and a pile of licorice jellybeans..it sucks ass. So to whoever in the world told me that id like it...well..screw you. And never talk to me again. And stop talking to me!

Zombies...whats the deal?

Ok, I suppose this could be classified more as nightlife and not so much as the parties section...but hey, if your idea of partying is getting your brains eaten and roaming the earth at the speed of a 3 toed sloth with only 1 toe left I wont stop you. Unless you try to eat my brains and then im going to be forced to grab my boomstick and open up a serious can of undead-whoopass on you. now..on to the post:

Ok, so whats the deal with zombies? I like zombie movies...but why? I mean is there anything less scary than a zombie. Maybe a kitten, perhaps a beagle with a party hat on smoking a cigarette. Here are my reasons for posting this:

1) Zombie movies tend to be more humorous than say...Vampire movies. There's always room for arm-falling-off-and-then-beating-said-zombie-with-own-arm tableau jokes, or the careless zombie who gets blown in half by a shotgun and hs still crawling at you and you can like..I dont know..sit there and laugh at him

2)Zombies are SSSLLLOOOWWWWWWWW! Something that you could concievably mall-walk to get away from is not scary.

3)Ive always been attracted to zombie movies for whatever reason and am now wondering why.

So does anyone know why I watch them? Is it the violence...perhaps. Is it the scenes where you hear some campy song likke "Stuck In The Middle With You" by Steelers wheel thats playing in the mall that th 35 year-old teenagers are trapped in and they're all scared....you know because its a sappy kind of song and they're all getting emotional. I dont know this post sucks ass. I was just hinking about it and now im not. Ive lost my zombie focus..

Gene Machine

Gene Machine

Listening to "gene Machine" By the Urge got me thinking. Now I know its rare that any of my thinking can be used for more than reading material on the crapper. But I was jut wondering about cloning. Now there must be some inherent good in the idea of cloning another person/animal/organ, etc. If there was no inherent good in the possibility of cloning then no one would even be contemplating it. But the opposite happens to be the case. In America, a country not exactly well known for its use of cutting edge technology in the operating room, there is a large debate on whether or not it is moral. I say Fuck them all and lets start up the gene machines and crank out a few mindless drones. We could use them like people in sci-fi flicks use robots. Just as servants, workers in the private sector and in military installments where its too dangerous to send in real humans. We would have to make them mindless so that they wouldn't overthrow our government or feel like they are superior or have emotions and we'd just program them with the Asimov robot hierarchy of laws embedded into their brains, except we'd change the word robot to human clone. So it would look something like this.

First Law:

A human clone may not injure a real human being, or, through inaction, allow a real human being to come to harm.

Second Law:

A human clone must obey orders given it by real human beings, except where such orders would conflict with the First Law.

Third Law:

A human clone must protect its own existence as long as such protection does not conflict with the First or Second Law.

See how simple it is, or how simple it should be at least. Just think, a massive amount of clones doing jobs while we sit around making our lives more sedentary than they already are. What a world it would be. That's the problem with America, we think about morals too much. It prevents us from making any kind of real progress in the scientific and media related fields. Clones are good. Or at least would be if anyone in the government would ever listen to me, which they never do. They still make me pay taxes....that's depressing. Either way lets get started on that whole cloning thing...so if you're a government official or scientist reading this blog you have my consent to start your cloning project. That is unless you are a crazy scientist who conduct experiments in his underground lair/mountaintop lair/lair under a volcano with weird worker drones in plastic jumpsuits. If you live in a lair...don't clone anything..likewise if you live in your mom's basement.

Elves sure are cocky

So, I dont know if any of you have ever met an elf. But I met one today. he was short and he had these pointy ears and shoes. And if you want my opinion he looked like a total doofus, but Im no fashion judge or anything. He had a real funny accent and kept mentioning things like blarney stones and whatnot. Even though he said he was irish and was just trying to make conversation I could tell he was an elf. While we were talking he began to brag about some pot of gold and how no one could get to it. I just smacked him upside the head and he went running away. Can you imagine that, some short fat redheaded elf bragging that he makes more money than me for some reason, cocky bastard. Anyway, im sure he'll be back. Ill just have to smack him again...seriously.

Why red?

You know. So many alien species have such cool blood. Vulcans have green blood, and either romulans or Klingons have like a pink blood, those creepy things from Alien have acid-like blood. Us humans are stuck with boring red blood that doesnt do anything like burn stuff or create portals in time/space continuums. Think about it, compared to most things, at least fictional things we're pretty boring.

Robots need people too.

Babs said in that timeless song of old "People...people who need people, are the luckiest people...yadda, yadda, yadda..." I always thought those were singularly the most ignorant and depressing song lyrics of all time. If a person needs people how does that make them lucky? Are they desperate for attention or simply pathetic souls who have low self esteem and need others around to make them feel like they're par of a less pathetic group.
Of course if it were me I would have said something like "Robots..Robots who have people are the luckiest robots in the world" Because Robots are things that need people. Without them their lives would be meaningless. They need something to serve, fix them and build them. So therefore as Robot who has a person is very lucky indeed. Too bad Babs wasnt much of a sci-fi junkie or she would have known that. Or even better, what if William Shatner had done the song my way. So many things would have been better about the song if either of those situations had happened, or were even viable. Anyway, its just food for thought.

Hapy NES

Happiness, the word itself is extremely odd. A combination of the words happy and nes. We all know what being happy is. but what about nes? most people will tell you that ness is simply a suffix added to a word to inflect a general state of mind or being about the preceeding word. However I think its actually a reference to NES, the popular video game console from the 1980's. Because honestly, thats what happiness was. simplicity. simple monochromatic soundtracks, 8 bit graphics and hours of enjoyment. Seems to me these days that all games are about graphics and most of them coulnt carry a decent storyline to save their ass. The NES was simple, run, fight, save princess, win. easy as pie.
So I imagine most of you are saying to yourself, "What kind of fucked up fantasy-world does this freak live in?" And I reply to you "Bite me" The reality is the more simple things are the more happy you are, because humans are inherently lazy. Keep life simple. Love, honesty, family. Simple, eh? And guess what the best part about it is. With such simple graphics and sound you wont have to waste money on that new video card that just came out because everyhtin gyou need is right at your fingertips. now it took me way to long to realize this but hey at least im realizing it when im 27 and not when im on my deathbed surrounded by children that hate me. Love your life, enjoy your love and go get that princess, baby cause if you dont get her then that big 8 bit digitized dragon that looks like a green dog with bracelets on is gonna rip her to shreds.

Bat Attack!!!!

While I was at work a bat flew into my house apparently. The wife sent me a text message and then her Dad came over to get it out. I wasnt there of course but legend has it that it was as big as a weiner dog and it had a mullet. I really dont see the problem with having a bat in your house. They look cool, they're intrinsicly evil, which compliments any atmosphere lighting scheme you have and they kill bugs.
I wont lie to you. I was kinda sad that the bat got thrown out cause I would have liked to keep it. I mean all of the above traits of bats taken into account, what if I could have teached it to sing a song and do a little tapdance. Id be a damn millionaire! I would have to cut his mullet and give him a top hat and some spats of course but imagine that. A bat who sings. Wow

Religious fanatics bother me

Why is it that the christians seem to be getting crazier by the second. Especially if they live in Kansas. I guess theres not really much to in Kansas if you dont plow corn or...whatever the hell they do to corn. But seriously. If you havent watched the documentary "Jesus Camp" you really should, just to see how fanatical Christians brainwash kids. I saw things that made my mouth drop to my ankles folks. Entire rooms, filled to the brim with kids as young as 4 years old crying while some fat old lady told them they were evil.
Freedom of religion is something we all hold sacred in America, whether you worship Jesus, Allah, Satan or nothing at all. However, I really would think that this kind of child abuse should be looked into further by some social service organization. Whats worse is that the parents of these poor children allow this to happen and even pay for them to go to a camp where they are constantly berrated by the fat old cow. And no, I wasnt talking about the Minotaur...this lady is much worse.
All I know is that if I took kids into a room and told them they should all start eating their own feces I'd get arrested, thrown in jail, anally raped and shanked. Ill try to get some info on the web about this in the near future.

Why the title?

So, if you're comming to this page for the first time you're probably wondering why i chose the weird title that I did. The answer is I really dont know. I jut tried to make the title of my blog as random and incoherent as possible while still revealing a little bit of my personality. And trust me. I have a lot of personality. At least thats what I tell myself. Most of my friends and family would agree im about as interesting as a ream of printing paper. This blog will, in all honesty just be something I do when I have some kind of quirky idea, thought or just get plain bored at work. So I doubt anyone will read it. which is really Sad.