Evolution...its for the monkeys

Anyone who believes that evolution is viable is a moron. I mean seriously its just not possible that we came from monkeys. Look at them. They all have furry bodies, only some of us have furry bodies. They have tails...TAILS! We dont have tails. They dont have a sentient language and we do. ok so some would argue that we can force them to learn sign language. You can teach a dog to jump through a flaming hoop and you could throw a rock through the same hoop but that doesnt mean that dogs evolved from rocks now does it. Theres that cool diagram with a monkey transforming into a caveman and then eventually into george bush or something. I bet given enough time I could draw a diagram that shows a bowl of pudding evolving into George Bush, and in retrospect those two things really arent that far apart...so lets just say Ill draw a diagram of a rock evolving into a dog, that seems more safe and logical. Anyway, what I really wanted to say was: Wheres my tail! I would really like one.